Johanna's Nightmare
by Bullet'sSharpStar
Summary: Johanna's nightmare about her family makes her recall the memories of her family and the monsterous things Snow did.


It was cold and dark. There was nothingness all around. Johanna was utterly alone. She could hear the level beating of her heart. She waited for her eyes to adjust, but it was too dim. The darkness seemed to creep in on her and suffocate her. She closed her eyes tight and gasped for air. "Johanna!" Ash suddenly shouted. Johanna opened her eyes and realized she was now in a sinister forest. She started to run through the woods as fast as she could. Her heart pumped harder in her ears. Cold sweat ran down the side of her face. "Ash! Ash where are you?" Johanna screamed. It seemed no matter which way Johanna turned, she was getting nowhere through the black forest. A screamed pierced the air. It was high pitched, and bursting with pain. It made Johanna's blood run bitter and her hairs stand on end. "Ash" she barely whispered. She could not think of what horrors could be awaiting her. She ran harder, in any direction she could. The screaming continued and it made Johanna sick to hear it. Soon she smelt smoke. "ASH!" Johanna screamed as loud as she could. Panic tickled the back of her throat, her sweat made her hair stick to her face and she could not breathe. Suddenly she burst into a clearing. She stumbled forward a few steps searching the field. At first, only a small fire in the center was there. Then she realized that the fire was much larger than she thought. She walked slowly toward it at first. A groan came through the flames, and Johanna swore it was her name. She began to walk faster, as dread of something unknown creeped down her spine. Suddenly something in the fire stirred. Johanna froze in her steps. She could not breathe. She could not think. She could not move. She could not look away. There in the fire was Ash, her fiancé. Johanna struggled but could not move. Her entire body was frozen in a stance of horror at what she saw. She could barely see Ash now, through the flames. All she could make out were her big dark green beautiful eyes. They were full of pain and agony. The begged for relief. They begged Johanna to end this cruel pain. Johanna could not even scream. The ball of rage was building in her chest. Hot tears fell down her face as she watched the beautiful woman she loved burn alive. Johanna struggled against the invisible force that held her away from the one person she loved most. She shut her eyes tight, and bit her lip. She felt like she was dying in the fire with Ash. She could feel the heat on her face, but could not imagine what torture Ash was feeling. Tears burst through her eyes as she realized she could not save her. She struggled and thrashed as those green eyes in the fire began to loose their life. "ASH! Ash.." she wanted to scream for her love to hold on, but the force denied her the voice. She finally broke free of the hold and fell to the ground from the strength of her struggle.

Suddenly everything went black. Johanna was on a cold concrete floor. She lifted her hands and wiped the dirt and other tiny debris off her hands. She threw her arms forward groping the air in front of her for anything, but nothing was there. Suddenly she heard a whimper. "Johanna? Is that you sissy?" a tiny boy's voice came out in the dark. "Zanther?" Johanna asked hastily and hushed. "SISSY!" Zanther shouted as shrill as he could. Johanna's terror rose in her throat. She was not sure why, but it was direly important for them to be silent. "Zanther be quiet!" she urged him. Her instincts told her they were not alone. "Sissy I'm scared, help me" he started to cry. "Shhh!" Johanna urged him. She became panicked as she realized she heard footsteps coming not toward her, but headed for the direction of the small boy's cries. Johanna managed to get to her feet and she ran toward the voice of her little brother. "Zanther!" she shouted, afraid for his life. "Jo…johanna! JOHANNA!" he screamed. "Help me! Sissy! Please!" His screaming became frightening as the footsteps reached him. "AAAHHHHHH!" His screamed filled Johanna's ears as whatever it was reached him. "ZANTHER! GOD NO! ZANTHER!" She desperately yelled as she ran toward the screams, yet making no progress at all. Johanna was too late; she would not be able to save him. His screams were becoming fainter, his cries quieter. She could hear shreding noises, and gurgling. Suddenly the lights flicked on and she was standing outside of a cell. Inside the cell was her little brother. She gasped, as she looked at the most appalling scene before her. Pieces of him were strung here and there. Blood and body parts painted the floor. A mutt sat in the corner with a hand in his mouth. The fingers twitched as the mutt tore it to pieces. Under the mutt's claw was fraction of Zanther's face, dripping from blood and tears. Johanna began to sob. She shrank against the bars of the cell and sat down in the pool of her little brother's blood. She picked up her hands and looked at the blood of a small innocent child. She could not save her baby brother. She failed him. She reached through the bars and grabbed at a shred of his favorite shirt. Just as she wrapped her fingers around it, the scene changed.

Snow stood in the middle of a room. To his left was a charred skeleton of Ash. To his right was a mutt with Zanther's arm in its mouth. And in front of him was her father. She pulled her hand back, and sat up slowly. She felt a murderous wrath flow through her veins. Snow was responsible for all of this. She looked at her father, whose face was swollen from a particularly vicious beating. Snow smiled a bit at Johanna, and then pulled the trigger; splattering the front of Johanna's clothes and face with her father's brains. She screamed as blood ran in her eyes. Her father's body lay limp in the floor. Snow laughed as Johanna looked around at everything she loved, killed in the worst way possible. Johanna's emotions overcame her. She failed everyone. She could not save them. She grabbed her chest, in fear her heart would explode. She gazed through the blood and tears at the man who took everything from her. She jumped to her feet and ran toward the surgically altered snake.

She bolted up right in her bed. The sheets were soaked in sweat. Hot tears streamed down her face. Her fists were clenched so tight, blood was seeping from the wounds her finger nails had created. Johanna looked around her dark empty bedroom. She placed her bloody hands over her face and cried into them, the feeling of failure and loss fresh in her chest. She reached over to her nightstand and pulled the picture frame off it. She ran her fingers over the faces of her little brother, her father and Ash. She walked across the cold floor to her living room looking for something to numb the pain. She flicked on the TV to distract her and make her home feel less vacant. All she saw was her face flashing amongst past victors. She threw the picture frame against the TV when snow's face appeared. She could not control the anger she felt at loosing the one's she loved more than anything. It shattered both the frame and the TV screen. The reaping was tomorrow. She thought about the poor kids who would be forced to kill fellow children, only to have their families killed when they do not play the game quite right. Happy 75th Hunger Games she heard Snow say right before she yanked the plug out of the wall.

She sat on her couch and thought about everything before the games. She remembers the day she met Ash and smiles slightly. Ash was the first person to outrun her in their physical activities class. She remembers the girl's long black hair and her forest green eyes. Johanna had gone home that night with Ash on her mind and for the first time ever, Johanna had been excited for school. It did not take long for a deep bond to be forged between the girls. Johanna also had no idea that her feelings for the girl were reciprocated. She thought about the night she explained to Ash that her mother died during her younger brother's birth. Johanna had started to cry, and Ash leaned in and kissed her. Johanna laid down on her couch and clutched the photo tight to her chest as she thought about that first kiss. Tears flowed over her eyes and dripped onto her couch. She glances at the photo again, and thought back to the day she brought Ash home. Her dad had welcomed her into their home likes she was his own daughter. Zanther loved to play with her too. It was easy to have Ash over and nobody suspect anything of them. Only Johanna's father knew about their relationship. Only he could know. If Ash's father, the mayor, found out, they would all be punished, not for being lesbians, but because the mayor looked down on such behavior. Johanna caressed the picture and wiped her tears from its surface. She remembered the last time she saw them all alive, was when they said good-bye for the Games. Johanna told Ash that she would win for her, so they could be together. She promised Zanther he would see her again. Her father just smiled and said "Give 'em hell Jo" before she left for the capitol.

Johanna wiped the tears from her face and reached for the blanket on the back of the couch. She hoped its warmth would keep the emptiness she felt at bay. It did nothing to help. She thought about the real cause of her pain. Snow had her in an office somewhere, demanding that she repay those who bet against her in the games. He informed her that once they were satisfied with her, she would bare his child, so he could harvest its stem cells so he could live forever. She had told him she would kill herself first. It was then that he looked at her and smiled. He knew Johanna would refuse. He planned on it. He wanted to see her suffer. She was the strongest tribute there had ever been and the thought of crushing her brought him immense pleasure. He walked her to the door, and led her into another room. He locked her in with three gentle men. She looked up in the corners of the rooms to see cameras. They wanted a show from her and she would not give it. The biggest man stepped forward. He cursed at her and slapped her so hard she fell to the ground. The black on came forward and informed her they would take their loss out on her, and that she should have lost the games. She took the beating; it was not very bad really. She was used to physical pain from the hard work in district 7. Limbs were all the time hitting her body. She knew she would not even bruise. When they tried to remove her clothes, she snapped. Before she knew what had happened, all three men lay on the floor. Two with broken necks and the biggest strangled with his tie. The door opened, and Johanna calmly walked out. She was not their toy. She had no idea that Snow was waiting for her in District 7. She had no idea that her world would end. She starts to cry again. She cannot stand the feeling of being helpless. She sits up on the couch and throws the blanket across the room. She can feel the heat from the anger rise up in her and the tears flow harder. She stands and kicks over her coffee table. Shards of wood fly across the room. Johanna looks around at the mess she has made. Her legs completely give out as the emptiness, anger, sadness and helplessness over come her. She lies on the floor and cries herself to sleep, knowing that she will slip into another nightmare, but not caring at all. There is no relief for Johanna's insurmountable pain.


End file.
